Letting Go of Grudges

A grudge can be a good motivator. It can fire up a football team. It can make you work harder to outperform a competitor. It can help you define a goal.

A grudge can also be a distraction. It can lead your efforts astray. It can cause you to lose sleep. It can generate anger and frustration.

How do grudges begin? Many ways. In some families, a sibling may feel that a brother or sister got more attention or love from mom or dad. In school, a smart kid, a jock or an attractive person may get preferential treatment. In business, a co-worker might get a promotion that should’ve gone to another employee.

I try not to hold grudges. I am not always successful. There are people and businesses that I feel have treated me badly in life. In some cases, wrongs can be corrected, but when they can’t, I try to move on.

In my experience, my holding a grudge is almost always more damaging to me that it is to the “grudgee.” In most cases, the person or entity against whom I hold a grudge has no idea that I hold a grudge. And, if they do know, it’s likely they don’t care! They have more important concerns.

A couple of reasons to let go of grudges:

1. The perceived injustice you suffered may have been inadvertent or arbitrary. An action may have been a result of “company policy” or an unseen manager at corporate HQ. And, it may have occurred so long ago that it is no longer relevant to your life today.

2. We may encounter these individuals and entities again. We may want them to buy our products or services. Could you feel comfortable doing work for someone against whom you hold a grudge?

I am not suggesting that you or I let people walk all over us. There are and always will be issues and concerns that must be addressed. But maintaining a grudge can negatively impact your mental and physical well-being as well as your ability to function normally.

Examine your grudges. If you can unburden yourself of one or more, give it a shot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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